sue me nice

fiera and then some

2009-06-24T01:29:00.000-07:00

the sort of stormy weather and a pile of my son's busted PJs kept me inside the premises of my small home today. well, of course, aside from wanting to spend more time with my son. fiera was not really very fiery today, at least here in our town, but i just have to not go to work. today marks my first day with sewing on the machine. the PJs and boxer shorts of my son became my first project. since i have never tried using a sewing machine all my life, it wasn't an easy feat. but, i felt accomplished. i'd probably look for more busted clothes to repair on my machine tonight. just to get the basics, technique, the habit of checking for safety, understanding my first machine - a Brother LS2125 - value for money, perfect for basic household sewing. my stitches looked ugly, which is okay, i guess. im giving myself a month to totally get the steady hands, and also to look for sewing materials. i'd probably be in divi this weekend, just to check what they can offer - fabric, threads, the works. my son was a little cooperative today, not very fussy about mommy doing something else. maybe because he's already four, and into a lot of things.

boy, am i glad i didn't sign up for a sewing class!

2009-06-20T00:38:00.000-07:00

it could've costed me a basic sewing machine's worth, more time stolen from hubby and son, and then some... am i glad i didn't enrol! I was really about to, when i heard that the fashion school director bears the same name as mine! but, i waited. boy, keeping a little more of that thing called patience really paid off.

what i was talking about is this free beginner tutorial on sewing. The lady, who i think is French (think Coco) in the videos, is just the type of teacher i could never forget in my lifetime. Step-by-step instructions plus clear videos shot just at the right angles are very helpful to the beginner. Her basic videos, such as how to operate the sewing machine and how to do basic stitches, were given for free if you sign up on her website. I was thinking of subscribing to her intermediate how-to videos, maybe later - when i find another free resource that i won't need to pay for it. Haha!

I'm off to buying my first sewing machine next week! Weeee....

the bad girl is back!

2009-06-09T10:26:00.000-07:00

officially four months of solid muteness. what have i been doing? feb, not much. march, nothing interesting. april, did some beach resort hopping. may, event planning. june, june... hmmm...

yeah, i'm getting back to my sewing. bought fashion designing book as i can't afford to quit my job to study and pay for the FD tuition fees, some dirt-cheap japanese catalogues.. read about the technicalities of pattern-making, which i didnt expect to be that much... uh.. technical. .. also been browsing for japan-made sewing machines, such as janome and baby lock.

im thinking of starting with collared shirts for women to wear in the workplace. targetting the working class market. then probably i'll expand to simple dresses, which can also be worn inside the office without the dress-code reminder memo from HR. will study fabrics tomorrow...

To lead or not to lead

2009-02-10T03:06:00.000-08:00

An expat gave me a pat in the back a while ago… After all the talk, he said to me, “you have good leadership skills…”

He was talking about how he thinks me dragging along several people to eat salad during lunch was cool. He said what I did to a trimmed-down client was amazing. He never even thought I could convince a guy in his department to munch fresh veggies for lunch.

Whew! That got me! All throughout grade school, high school and college I had been leading teams but never got such a comment; straight-forward and non-superficial as that. I know I have the gift to convince and influence people, and have somehow thought I’m a better leader than a manager when my hubby and I discuss about the differences between the two positions.

Then I realized what if I changed career paths and do something that will complement my “leadership skills”.

Hey

2008-11-10T15:52:00.000-08:00

Okay, so i'm back to the blogging world...

Hmmmm it has been sooo long! My family just came back from a long vacation. I just survived an emotional stress lurking deep inside me for long. I'm back to the gym again, where I am blogging now.

Hmmmm there's so much to say, too little time.

Later....

Me! Me! Me!

2008-09-27T17:30:00.000-07:00

Okay, so after the realizations and goal-settings, here's me, doing more of those if-then-else analyses than i ever did in my life. After being submissive and content with what i have, this time i'm aiming for more. My baby is now three, giving me more freedom to rediscover myself. Hubby's also doing something with his career. Little bro living with us now finds stable life in university. And i'm more than just glad to see the people around me progressing in their own little ways. This time, it's me, me, me.

28!

2008-09-19T21:06:00.000-07:00

So how does a new 28 year old feel?

Excited for the remaining two years before I turn 30. This is the best time to realize you need to attain more serious goals in life. Mine would include passing JLPT 4 this year, and JLPT 3 next year; add 'sr.' to my current title at work; earn enough to renovate our house to include a tiny veranda on the second floor, a multimedia room for hubby and a paint/sketch/drawing room for me (next to the window, of course); have a grand family vacation including mom, dad and bros; give something to help build my folks' new home. I can never ask for more in my life as a wife and mother. I think the remaining two years before becoming 30 is enough to accomplish those selfish dreams.

Trying to get by

2008-09-07T23:21:00.000-07:00

Money has been frequently dwelling on my mind the past few weeks. It probably started when me and hubby decided to manage each of our own monies and split on every household bill. Although I bring in less bacon than he does, which means there would be so little or even a virtually negative amount left for me after paying the bills, I think it’s generally a good thing. This set-up pushes me to aim high, do more, and become the person I want to be. In my pursuit to develop my writing skills and earn from it, I recently subscribed to a site where I could bid for freelance projects. I’m still at the building-my-profile stage, and just a minute ago I received an email from the site reminding me that I need to get my butt in there and contribute to their business. I’m planning to spend a few more hours tonight to polish my profile and maybe start bidding for jobs. I need to earn an additional 4k a month (at least) to pay my extra bills. I hope this thing works for me.

On the other hand, I feel so fortunate that despite my being broke, I have a family to make me embrace life’s beauty. My son’s fast becoming a “big boy”, as he says it. He’s becoming very assertive, observant, funny, independent, inclined to eating fish than pork, beef or cold cuts, and … really obsessed with trains. His dad bought him another set this weekend (in lieu of the time he spent at the office on a Sat). The kiddo was so into it last night he went to bed a little more late than he used to. And of course, the unsceasing playback of The Polar Express for the entire weekend, and Youtube's Thomas the Train episodes, which added to the spirit. He never gets tired of anything trains-related. What concerns me though is his dad being too glad about his son’s obsessions. I used to see those beaming eyes from my dad’s friends when they see their sons do something naughty. And those eyes always made me feel like they seem to pose potential trouble. But, anyway, hubby says he sees himself in our son the obsession, or to put it better, the passion he had for something. He thinks the little tyke is likely to succeed in life just like daddy. I think so, too.

Broke-back

2008-08-29T04:18:00.000-07:00

Today was the first time I was able to actually feel that I own what I earned. I withdrew some money to hand my brother his tuition fee, had a yummy ramen for P85 at a Japanese resto, and was able to buy a toiletries purse by cash. I thought it was the most liberated thing I have ever done for the last few years. The moment I browsed into the shelves of purses, I realized I need to find the right item – not-so-expensive but really useful. And I’m glad I did. I paid it in cash. And the moment just brought me to those days when I was single and had the opportunity to think ahead, think of the consequences of this purchase. Hell, I felt so alive! And yes, broke.

Japanese TV series

2008-08-27T03:31:00.000-07:00

After having finished two Japanese live TV series (Hana Yori Dango and Oniyome Diary), I decided to purchase another DVD to again immerse myself into Japanese culture, and yes, the language. It has been four years since I started learning nihongo and until now I still haven’t acquired any JLPT license. I flunked my JLPT 3 last 2006. Then I missed my JLPT 4 in 2007 to attend a business trip in the US. This means I need to get back on track. I’m taking this year’s JLPT again, though. And yes, I’m taking JLPT 4 as I realized taking JLPT 3 is far too ambitious.

And so, after I digress, let’s get back to the supposed main topic. I was so delighted by the last two DVDs that I watched both whole seasons again. And yes, I have talked about and introduced and recommended them to my family and friends as well. Hana Yori Dango sort of revives the romantic in me. It’s one of those romeo-and-julietesque stories we see on TV. But what I liked most about this teen-oriented drama is that it gave me some idea on how the poor and rich live in Japan. I have been a long time anything-about-Japan fan, but I never thought there were still poor people living in 35sqm homes and on fried chicken skin for dinner, in a first-world country with the second-largest economy in the whole living planet! Weird, but it was enlightening. Having researched about living expenses in Japan days later, I realized it isn’t really easy surviving in Japan. Everything is sky-rocket expensive. I remember checking for capsule hotel prices. The cheapest I could find starts at 3,000yen for a night. Wow, that’s about the same price as a nice 2-star hotel for a night here in Manila! And that a yummy bowl of ramen costs around 850yen. That’s like eating for three in a comfortable restaurant here in Manila. By the way, I got the latter info from this other DVD that I was gaga over – Oniyome Diary. This one, on the other hand, shows the daily lives of mid-income married couples in Tokyo. I like this DVD more because as a wife, I can easily relate to the scenes. It’s about a timid, but scheming husband who maintains a blog where he can express all the misery he feels about his wife. The wife, although a little too strong-willed, I think isn’t so bad. She always has a reason for everything – damn good reasons. That’s why the hubby continues to be submissive, and resorts to his blog as his confidant. Besides its being very rich in Japan’s cultural exposure, the actors were superb and everything is well-thought out and very comic. Every time I watch it I’m giggling and laughing I almost fall from my seat. Well, maybe because I could relate to the story lines, too.

The new DVDs I bought are titled Oishii Proposal and Saito-san. I have already started digging into Oishii Proposal, a story about an independent, strong-willed, single woman in her late 20s. I’m still trying to finish the second episode. I chose it from among the flock in the DVD shelf because I have a friend who’s also in the marriageable age and is also very independent. So far, it’s okay. But based on ratings, this one rated well on its first run. Numbers spiraled down in the second up to the last then went up again in its last run. It’s drama, so I guess I won’t expect more giggles when I watch it again maybe some time this weekend. I guess I’m just not really into drama. Saito-san, I haven’t started yet. What got me to buying it is because it’s about a single mom – it has truly different story lines (I hope) from the ones I watched. For a change, I’d like to know how single moms do it to raise kids alone in a very expensive and industrialized country like Japan. So, my weekend’s already booked. Maybe I’ll have those ripped and converted to iTunes video so that I could watch them while commuting. Hmmmm…

win-win situation

2008-08-22T05:17:00.000-07:00

After all’s been said and done, hubby and I came up with a few realizations. One of which is very new to me is splitting the payment of our bills. He actually came up with the idea out of rage, when he was so mad about something he missed to understand. It has been more than three years of our marriage of combining both incomes, and spending it as one source. But now, we both realized we need to try this new system as well. And I redefined it – it’s not “yours will be mortgage, tuition, gas; mine will be allowances, electricity, water bills”. Instead, each bill will have to be split in two for both of us to pay in halves. I thought it would be fair. Hubby was delighted by the idea, given I have absolved him of the responsibility of sending my brother to school, and that he earned way more than me. I thought it was win-win because it had been really unfair for only him to absorb all the financial pressure. What I did was just earn and put my income in a common place, and I had no idea how my income was spent. I had no idea of my worth, of my value. I had no idea on how to manage my income. I had no idea of the financial pressure that hubby has been going nuts about. This time, I’ll learn, and he will enjoy his money. Win-win, alright.

ruthie

2008-08-14T05:43:00.001-07:00

It was memorable last night, when me and my office buddies spent our after-office hours at a place called Pilange. Pilange is a videoke place that is dirty cheap, but their offering is something you would want to write about in your blog and say nice things about it. I would want to recommend such a place for budget-conscious groups who just want to have fun with the company of their friends. Local beers are almost free, for only P38 per 280ml bottle. Food, price-and taste-wise, isn’t bad either. The pancit canton that disguised as something that crawled from a creepy karinderia turned out really superb! The only downside there is that its list of songs is not that updated. But if you’re the type who’d wail for the oldies, then this place is your own nirvana.

The gathering was to celebrate, or should I say, grieve over the departing of one of our girl friends. She’s leaving the company and country tomorrow to try her luck in Singapore. I wish for her to be lucky, safe and happy in her new journey to success. I’ll miss that kiddo, who sat beside me for the last 10 months of my stint with ENP. She was the little girl who would ask me about her lovelife woes, and we could talk all day about 90’s alternative music. Although we never got to make our band happen, wherein she’s our rhythm guitarist and I’m on bass, we were crazy excited about it we were daydreaming of what it would be like to be on stage with those big guitars. I’ll miss the girl, alright.

Nth nostalgia

2008-08-13T02:20:00.000-07:00

Okay, so nostalgia hit me again today. In the morning, it seemed like I'm missing my previous job – editing stories from Chinese writers – one major feat you’ll never forget in your lifetime. I miss my old boss, that brilliant Singaporean whom you’d like to work with all your life. I missed both work and boss. However, I wouldn’t want to go back to doing that ultra-tedious job anymore. Well, I guess I could do it once in a while, for a change. In the entire afternoon, I was listening to Bread’s Make it with you on my computer’s media player. I’m truly a hippie, I guess, even if I was born a decade later. Then I remembered the high school boyfriend who gave me a The Best of Bread cassette tape, which featured the said song. That was the first gift that I have truly treasured. I kept the until, maybe college, when it broke down and cassette players have become scarce. I guess it was the sweetest gift I have ever received in my whole life. The guy chose it as a gift (for no occasion at all) because he has seen me unceasingly borrow a similar copy from one of our classmates. Well, I think that was sweet. He was really a sweet guy. No other boyfriend has topped that of his, not even my hubby. It didn't work between us because maybe, when you’re 16 and ready to take on the world, sweet guys aren’t the most important thing in the world.

Fountain-frolicing at the Market! Market!

2008-08-12T00:53:00.001-07:00

That Saturday get-away of ours got me red-nosed and sniffing since Monday morning. I guess really could not stand the heat of the sun for too long. Taking open-door/window rides on a very humid and dusty day pisses my lungs. But it was fun, really. My son had his metro-train ride the second time. The funny thing is, the little tyke expected the train to go up a mountain and reach North Pole just like what he saw in the movie The Polar Express. He has seen that movie like a gazillion times! But luckily, he didn’t make a fuss out of it. We simply explained to him that this train will only traverse the “road”/Edsa. He quickly nodded, “ah…” and rolled his eyes and probably thought how long that “road” is, or what it’s like way further. We just let him wander for a moment in his imaginary train world.

After lunch, we dropped by the church only to find out that office hours start at 3pm. We proceeded to Market! Market!, a shopping mall, park, playground and a whole lot of everything in one place. When the little tyke saw the dancing fountain, he was amazed by it that we stayed only at that part of the mall the whole time. He was running around the grill that surrounds it - “railways” as he calls it. He probably made twenty loops, yelling “chagga chagga choo choo! chagga chagga choo choo!”. Being an only child, my son is used to playing alone, in his own wonderland. While my son frolics and later joins other kids, me and hubby zip our frappucinos to keep our eyes open while the kiddo joins a battalion of his kind.

Hubby left by 2:30pm to go back to the church and get the document. The little tyke is still restless, finally deciding to get his clothes wet and really enjoy the waters. Some bystanders were amused by him because he was like “the last tyke standing” there; the rest of the kids have already given up, or were already tired. Good thing, I brought with us a set of changing clothes. I explained to him that after changing into his fresh clothes, he can never go back to playing at the fountain again, some other day perhaps. Am I surprised that he didn’t again make a fuss out of it. Oh my gosh, my son is maturing! He’s not anymore the bratty terrible-two who tested the hell out of me several months ago. However, when we were about to leave the mall, we have a little bit of an argument. I said we have to ride on a jeep to get to the train. He said he wanted to ride the train – right away. So I had to explain to him that the train is way too far we had to ride on a jeep first to get to the train. It took me around 10 agonizing minutes to make him understand that. Finally, I used an easier technique. I told him, I’m going to the train, I’m gonna ride the jeep and then the train. He was teary-eyed, then later took my hand and told me he will also take the jeep. I know it’s a little bit of blackmail, but talking logical with a (almost) tantrum-stricken toddler is not the greatest solution at that time, either. It took a whole lot of patience and courage. But, whew! That was such a relief. And so we met his dad later at the train station with a cheerful mood.

And you thought he was already dozing off at the bus on our way home? Not a slim chance! Despite the heavy traffic along the coastal area, my son was very excited to talk about his experience earlier that day. And he was prancing here and there and singing his fave songs “Hot-cross buns, ABCD…, and Twinkle, twinkle, little star”. Although it was a little exhausting, that get-sway was such a very happy experience for the three of us. Later on, I got a headache and never got to join the poker game at our cousin’s that night. The next day, I’m having a stuffy nose.

Nothing much

2008-08-08T17:00:00.000-07:00

Nothing much since the last post. I was glad i finally got back to working out. It was such a very invigorating 30min workout. Besides, i need to build up stamina for the upcoming 10km (hajimete desu yo) this Aug 17. I should be running today, but my back aches a bit, DOMS from yesterday's workout. I guess i'm just gonna do it MOnday morning, if i can't do it tonight. As usual, we will be spending time at our cousin later this evening, and the drinking session will probably finish off daylight the next day. Sunday is rest day, that's why Monday is the day.

My son is having his quarterly exams next week so i really had to rush home from work so we can do reviews. My son is doing excellent in most of his classes, except for his writing exercises. Writing exercises require patience; my son has short attention span. But he managed to do several slant lines and curves before he gives up. I thought what's important is he was immersed in such aspects as these are basic skills. I don't wanna push him really. He's only three.

And so today, we will be heading to that church we had him christened to get that baptismal certificate his school requires. Hubby, whose snoring i can hear from the bedroom, said we'll leave by 9am. Dang, it's already 8:13 and he's still in snoreville! Oh well, i guess i'm gonna have to take a bath now. The kiddo is busy with his dora the explorer moments. 9am it is. I hope.

Me, the eternal sponge

2008-08-06T21:18:00.000-07:00

Two of my close friends came by my office to see me yesterday, One was an old buddy, someone from high school; the other, an ex-colleague. As usual, as what most of my friends do - both were unloading their life stories, miserable or happy, unto me like I was some kind of sponge, or some garbage dump. Of course, I love it like that. They’re my friends, and I enjoy listening to what they were saying. Not only do I offer the ears they need, but I also can get lessons from their stories.

My old buddy is totally broke, but I’m glad she still has the will to carry on. She’s aiming to work in a first-world country to help her family, who is counting on her for almost everything. Theirs is the typical rags-to-riches-back-to-rags story. But my friend has shown courage and hope, something I could have not expected from her. She was the bratty girl friend I had in high school, speeding her motorbike with me at the back while I try to control my tears. We went to college together, but later she has given up engineering as aside from it being difficult, she thought her dad of good political connections could secure her a job with only a two-year course. She worked for a while, and started seeing a high school lad, whom she thought was the sweetest person in the world. Both work and relationship didn’t work as planned, apparently. Having just ended an 8-year relationship with a guy five years her junior, focusing on improving yourself and the situation of the people you love could be the sweetest revenge. And I applaud her. I believe she can surpass all these and someday lead a mishap-free, happy life that everyone deserves. Gambatte, Adelyn-chan!

My other friend, whom I thought got married for the wrong reasons, dropped by to give me her long-due Christmas gift she was telling me about. It turned out she gave me something I have been wanting to buy myself for like since history. And so, we started asking about each others’ lives. And, yappari, she was still having petty problems with her husband. The hubby, having had an earlier relationship that bore a lovechild, is trying to mesh his past with the present. I mean, this is where it gets tricky. Hubby wants the kiddo to spend some “quality” time with madrasta; madrasta/my friend, knowing the biological mom is still alive and thought that seeing another woman “playing mum” with her daughter is rather distasteful, kept her distance. I can’t blame both parties. And since I was there to supposedly just listen, I only blurted out a very important, short advice – “communicate with your husband everyday”. I have proven this to be a very effective method to stay with each other. In the real world, I and my husband only talk on the phone or chat while at our own work areas, and on weekends. I get home from work early; he goes home late. And when he’s about to get home, I’m already too tired to talk to him that even sometimes he’ll just see me already comfy in bed with our son. That creates the problem here. Because I would miss him, and when it’s weekend (when we wakes up between 11am-1pm), I would nag him, shout at him, in short – I hate him. But I really don’t. I just hate the idea that we didn’t get to spend time to talk, and now he’s wasting half of the day sleeping. And so, as my friend admitted, she was also being harsh, and thought she could’ve used the best words so that the hubby don’t get her wrong the next time. You don’t call her an editor for nothing! But I’m glad she has reflected on her actions, as well.

My crowd is already maturing, indeed. And I’m really glad.

Importance of writing constantly

2008-08-04T20:59:00.000-07:00

My son is still recovering from his already week-old cough, but it seemed like he was feeling good this morning. It was such a relief. I was again late for work today, god, for how long can I be this messy. But this time it wasn’t because I wanted extra slack time, I wanted to see if my son is in good health. You see this cold and cough of him had been disturbing his sleep for a week, and we’ve been just giving him lemon juice. However, I bough a bottle of expectorant last night as I got worried this may not be just some ordinary cold.

Hubby went home a little much too late last night, or should I say, this morning. It was another one of those interesting conversations with his office buddies/band mates that nailed him at the bar. I was a little furious, because I thought he had only little time to play with the tyke. He, however, told me later that they did spend some time before the kiddo went for school. That was a relief. Otherwise, I’ll be spending the rest of the day being cold with his calls.

Anyway, yeah, I guess I need to do some explaining here. I got so hooked with working out since April it made it hard for me to squeeze in blogging time. I also did a lot of research on diet, and losing weight. One reason for keeping fit was the company outing that was to happen in June. I had to wear a swim suit at the beach so I got to at least get rid of my bulgy stomach. The research further convinced me to not only strive to look good during that event, but to also lead a healthy lifestyle, in long-term basis. I want a fit body to keep up with my son, to later be able to attend his college graduation, wedding, perhaps my grandchildren’s weddings as well. I guess being health–conscious runs in the blood, not only because I was a Virgo. Dad has and always been a health buff. Although mom wasn’t very much the type, she would always remind us to eat healthy food and maintain a stress-free state of mind. I told myself I could do this. Though, lately I realized that I can’t realistically work out everyday. But I had to at least have a rigorous activity at least an hour three times a week. I walk maybe around 40min everyday, so that would keep the blood flowing steadily for the day.

But now I’m back. I realized that writing about whatever there is to write about is important to me. It lets me reflect on what activities, important or not, have happened during the day. And perhaps grab some lessons in life. Back then, during my depressing college days, writing helped me understand myself more to become the person that I am now. I don’t think it is just a college thing. Besides, I need to revive and re-strengthen this writing skill of mine. Someday, when I gain back the confidence, I might pursue a novel. Have the confidence like the one when I was 15.

Get back on track

2008-05-09T03:42:00.000-07:00

Why the long silence? Hmmm, let's try to list (my favorite part of the analysis process) them :

1. Had been busy with work
2. Had been doing more Friendster uploads
3. Had more time with Enzo

I guess that's all. I had so many stuff on my mind during those "silent" days but didn't get the time to type in....

Maybe there's more tomorrow...

the aching feeling of longing

2008-04-15T19:01:00.000-07:00

What’s so fascinating (at least for me) with the aching feeling of longing for something or someone? Is it called passion? Does that make me passionate, then? Why do I feel so happy and slightly hurt at the same time? Happy, because thinking of the thing sends chivers down my spine, makes me want to fly and feel the air, the sun, the rain, the nature... Slightly hurt, though, can’t quite explain that part. Maybe that’s the spice in the recipe. The small cinnamon dot in the bread. I don’t know, maybe I’m really becoming one of them masochistic virgos.

All these crazy feeling started when I played the song “Di mo lang alam” by Indio I on my media player. Ahhhhhh...........

New fitness site to maintain...

2008-04-08T21:59:00.000-07:00

So I found to today a wellness site that is easier to maintain - www.myfitnesspal.com. I’m trying this for three days. If it doesn’t work for me just like the first one, I will have to look for other options. I am really desperate to regain my core strength, and lose some weight! Be back later, work’s been a little challenging today…

Banana Leaf

2008-04-07T23:08:00.000-07:00

It was my second time at a Banana Leaf restaurant, and I was in some magical experience once again. I guess I could confirm now that the Banana Leaf has become my favorite restaurant. Steve, Gerald (my colleagues) and I had our lunch at the Podium branch, which has friendlier hosts than in Greenbelt, Makati branch. But, then again, food is king at Banana Leaf. We had Garlic Calamares, Chicken Curry barbeque and Penang Char Kway Teow, which captured our taste buds. The Penang Char Kway Teow, is a similar dish to that of our pancit canton, wowed us especially my American boss. And when I’m about to try memorizing the dish name so that I could later google for the recipe, the guys quickly lent me each of their ballpoint pens so that I could copy it down from the menu. Really, really good, it as that I was planning to cook it on my son’s upcoming birthday party. As I browsed for recipes when we got back to the office, I found this nice blog which features the ever-famous Penang Char Kway Teow. I’m gonna try it this weekend!

Swing Out Sister Fever

2008-04-02T21:09:00.001-07:00

I never thought i would someday post something not-so-original as this - lyrics - but do give me the floor as this is from one of my fave Swing Out Sister's own. Can't wait to watch Swing Out Sister perform in Manila on April 7!

Something out of this world - Swing Out Sister

Drifting, Open to persuasion, Lonely as a cloud on a summers day

Waiting, Searching for a reason, Walking till the breeze blows the mist away

Wherever thoughts are fading fast
And losing track of time
Theres always something even better
If you change your mind

Something out of this world
Something wonderful
Something out of this world
Something wonderful

Breathing, Seconds turn to hours, Innocence surrenders to yesterday

Growing, Like a city flower, Pure amongst the dirt where the children play

Whenever melancholy falls like shadows in your mind
There’s always something left behind the scenes for you to find

Something out of this world
Something wonderful
Something out of this world
Something wonderful

La (x16)
La (x21)

Whenever dreams are fading fast and losing track of time
Theres always something even better if you lose your mind

Something out of this world
Something wonderful
Something out of this world
Something wonderful
Something out of this world
Something wonderful
Something out of this world
Something wonderful

La (x21)

Work woes

2008-03-31T20:38:00.000-07:00

I’m finally paying for the many wasted hours I spent on anything other than work – yes, blogging and them some, during office hours. So I got a novel of comments from my US counterpart. The task I completed for training purposes was a mess. Although I initially thought I’d need more information on the technical aspects of the job itself, I went on doing my own thing and trusted myself to complete the exercise project. He sent me three PDFs, two of which include his comments on my job; the other one was his own completed version of the job. One comment file was actually my version of the document with his comments on them. The other comment PDF was an eight-pager reminder of most things I already know. And so I started getting on with the first comment PDF (my version of the job with his comments on it). Then I saw justice. I did really screw up on a lot of important things. I messed up on the titles, headers, watermarks, title formatting – the very visible, loud parts of the document that needed to be absolutely flawless in the first place. And for the love of moses, I called myself an editor! Maybe that was the reason I got an F for this. I guess seeing those in-your-face problematic areas angered him and inspired him to write another comment file that would explain everything (the eight-pager). I can’t blame him. He may have not known that I have also done my own research on the stuffs he was blabbing about. And all the technical questions in my head were banging like crazy it aches that I sometimes wish I was working in sync with US time (night time; at home) so I could easily talk to someone who does the same thing. But I would have not done an eight-pager comment. The first comment PDF would have been enough.

Public nuisance or a treat for cheap?

2008-03-27T20:48:00.000-07:00

Public nuisance in the form of begging money from people in buses and jeepneys has always been a pet peeve of mine. People doing this makes me want to wish I had the power to transport myself through radio signals into a place other than the stinky bus we are in. I hate the idea of getting what you want out of nothing, doing nothing, without equal effort. I truly believe in cause and effect. And these people who just sneak inside buses to give you an empty white envelope with notes that say “I am Jenny, an out-of-school youth…”, to “Please help fund our charitable institution…”, just are plain irritating to the bone. Some envelopes don’t even have notes on them that you won’t have the slightest idea what the money they’re asking for is for. It pains me to see that many Filipinos try so hard to appear helpless to be pitied by, and thus be exempt from working hard to pay the bills, and the tax.

There have been many kinds around – preachers, sellers, and recently adding up spice in the industry – Badjaos. The first group is plain nuisance. They would preach about gospel and appear holy in front of you, then collect their envelopes and say “may god be with you always” – plain shit as that. So you get to have god be with you once you give them money? Ha. The sellers, on the other hand, initially hand you a note saying “I’m a widow with three children, blah blah blah”, then offers you their products. These kinds don’t piss me much, as the products weren’t very expensive, and these people carried heavy baskets of products just to sell them around, hence they worked for the money. The sad thing about their “force selling” is that they are doing some kind of blackmail. Those “help us” notes are the reason why I included this group in the public nuisance camp. And the third group is the artists – the Badjaos. They also hand a few envelopes, with little notes saying they wanted some help, or to that effect. And after distributing the envelopes, they would thump their bongos, sing their haunting Badjao melodies and do ethnic dances. Despite their filthy shirts, these kids - yes, kids – delighted me. It’s like I’m immersed in some other dimension, where pure art is all over around me. My husband would grin looking at me while I sway my body to the Badjao rhythm. So, despite the nuisance they bring, I felt like I was in for some treat. So I handed them my “help”, in exchange for a priceless experience the Badjao kids don’t know was very significant to me.

Summer time

2008-03-26T00:21:00.000-07:00

Me and my officemates were in the middle of deciding which (available) beach resort to go to come summer. Yes, there are a lot out there actually, since our country has got the most beautiful shorelines in the pacific. However, since everybody else are going to the beaches this season, too, the top ones where we hoped to wear our first ever bikinis have already gone fully booked! This is really disappointing, and for one, we have scheduled our outing on the third weekend of May – yes, two months from today!

Oh, well.

Two months from now before breathing into the fresh sea breeze, the warm sand and waters I grew up with. I was thinking of having a family outing next month. I was thinking of taking that reservation at Munting Buhangin. I heard it’s nice there… I’d like to see Enzo frolic in the sand. The last time he went to a beach resort (Rosegold, Batangas), he was only barely 1 year old and wasn’t able to appreciate everything around him. I feel obliged to my son, and to myself. My husband isn’t much of a beach buff, but I bet he could use some fresh air to clear up his nicotine-clogged lungs.

This new fad i call personalized wellness program ...

2008-03-22T07:53:00.000-07:00

Alright, so i've been a little too serious about this whole losing weight thing (said my husband), and yes, dreaming of fitting into a skimpy bikini in 2-3 month's time. I even tried this free personalized diet and fitness program site, which i stumbled into a few days ago. At first, it looked promising with all its calendars, and planners all over the place. It seemed like everything you need to track (food, hence calorie intake and workout, hence calorie used) can be easily managed in this free subscription. But after two-three days, i got tired of it. No, I'm not tired of the program i have already committed to practicing; it's the site that is still not that polished and as user-friendly as expected. Considering most people who would want to use it are always on-the-go and may not have the luxury of time to wander through the site. I mean, the site could have been designed better. Among its tools is the myNutrition, which allows you to manage your daily menu and its corresponding nutrient tracker and calorie counter. By default, you have four meal categories in a day - breakfast, lunch, dinner and snack. Each meal category comes with a default meal plan, and suggested meal items, both of which can be modified by the user (through a list of choices). THis could have been fine if users could add meal categories, and put in these new categories the meal items they want to include, but hell, no. The site just doesn't have this option. I mean, in the first place, in order for a person to keep fit, it is advisable one should eat more smaller meals a day, not three of four. This enables our tummy to digest smaller amounts food, and thus, leave nothing for storage. We need this because we're not anymore the hunters that our ancestors were. THose fellows used a lot of their calories in hunting, fishing, farming; and so they needed three huge meals everyday to keep up. We don't. We just sit for a few hours in our cars or train to work, then eight more hours sitting in front of the computer, and two more hours of little or no activity at all heading home. That means we are not using all the calories we took in for each meal of the day. I wish they could change the site for the better, so that it will be able to help a lot of people. As for me, i'm gonna be really into this truly personalized wellness program of mine. I guess i really don't need calorie counters or a diet plan. All i need is to lessen my calorie intake, and use as much energy as possible. It's even funny i came up with a personalized cardio exercise, which is a combination of a warm up exercise, and stretching from a different video, a fat-burning cardio video/total body burn from another, then another stretching/cool-down exercise from another video. Ha. That's what i call "personalized".

and oh....

2008-03-20T20:13:00.000-07:00

The chicken potato salad was yummy. My family was convinced, my officemates, myself, we think the potato salad was good. Yey! Thanks to the site i got the yummy recipe from!

Starting today...

2008-03-20T06:23:00.000-07:00

I will be committing myself to a health program i have devised - to rip off my belly fat, damn it. I have been trying (not so) hard to peel it off my used-to-be-flat tummy since my son's birth. And it has now been almost three years and it's still there, greeting me every morning with a bang! There's just too much skin that when i eat a lot, the tummy balloons into a fleshy ring bouy around my waist. Arrrggg!

Until I went to an ukay shop a few weeks back. The clothes i tried on that looked very good on their hangers looked ugly on me! This isn't the case like 5 years back! I have long accepted my new body, I only workout at home to feel better, not to look good. But when i saw myself in the mirror looking like that tacky lady me and my cousin would laugh at 10 or so years ago, I gasped. I'm becoming one of them - wives on gawdy outfits!

But it didn't just stop from there. I started downloading torrents of hiphop abs videos that i thought aren't just a bunch of gimmicks. THese videos are great. They don't bore you, and the longer you use them, the more fun the workout becomes. I used to dance occasionally, during school events. I was never the hiphop dancer, but Shaun T's videos upped my respect to the genre a notch more. I will be following the 30-day workout calendar, and the diet plan i will be devising shortly.

Starting today, I will be working out not only to feel good, but to also look good.

Accomplishing something

2008-03-17T08:17:00.000-07:00

I finally did it. After three weeks of feeding my cupboard with dwarf potatoes, and getting "i-thought-we're-gonna-have-potato-salad-this-weekend?"-look from my family, i finally have it now in the fridge, ready for some fest tomorrow.

I like the idea of being able to cook yum food from not-so-expensive stuff. About a month ago, lettuce prices were way lower than its usual. So i had brought some caesar salad at the office for my lunch buddies. It's seldom those guys consider salad for lunch, but they appreciated my offering. It looked pang-gourmet (suited for the gourmet), as one colleague commented.

Also, three weeks ago, prices of dwarf potatoes have plunged immensely. This had me thinking of some potato dish that i could cook home. It took no time for me to decide it should be potato salad, as i have not yet mastered the dish. First time i prepared it - total disaster - uncooked potatoes, weird-tasting dressing... Second time was so-so. This time should be something good, as i have been feeling relaxed while mixing the ingredients - no pressure. Having all the ingredients prepped up on the table kind of makes it easier, and faster.

I hope it's gonna be delicious, as i have more or less memorized the ingredients and the proportions i need for that much potatoes. We'll see...

For the sake of art or just plain selfishness?

2008-03-04T23:24:00.000-08:00

Silence - that was the reaction I got after announcing to my lunch buddies that I’m going to start a graphic novel about a stripper or a pole dancer. No reaction. The topic, which I tried to cut off to sneak in my plans, resumed. Nada.

That was also what I got from an artist friend, whom I expected to side me on this. What sounded like a gulp from over the phone, he tried to be as much rational to my utter excitement. And he called himself artist at that. Nada.

Antipathy – that was what I got when I mentioned it to my hubby while having Japanese dinner with an old friend later that day. He said the prostitution thing had been there since the world began that it was no longer an issue. If I were to make a project, it should be something that would impact the society, the country. Our old friend, while trying to digest too much wasabi and the discussion me and my husband are having, mentioned a few socio/political issues that might be better themes to my graphic novel than the stripper thing. I wanted to scream that I was doing this for the sake of art!!!

But I was cool with what they thought. I expected such reaction. I guess it’s way better that earlier on, even before it gets published, I will get to experience such degradations. After all, we live in a “religious” and “conservative” country, where most people either avoid the taboo and live a “clean” life or live in the taboo and get crucified. Okay, so I exaggerated on that crucified part.

But, really, give me one reason why I shouldn’t do it? I mean, I love to sketch/draw women – their bodies are the greatest sculpture ever made. A woman’s body is so complex and beautiful at the same time.

I once told myself that I would someday write about something. But to make it right the first time, the story should be something I know of very well. There lies my little problem – I know nothing about stripping. I know no woman who does such a thing. And this means I had to do mountains of research to know the latest issues regarding such activities. And I think this is very exciting. This is new to me, and since I’m a sucker for trying out new things, I think no one can stop me. 

That is raw art to me...

2008-03-04T20:40:00.000-08:00

I used to despise illustrations created through computer software. I thought that these “artworks” were prepared by mere non-skilled, untalented artist-wannabes. I thought that anybody can “cook up” these illustrations as long as he knows the software tools. No need for a talent or gift. Spare my parents the blame; it’s just that almost all the happy days of my life were derived from the satisfaction I get from my “raw art”.

I advocate “raw art”, words which I reinvented to mean “art out of physical pen and paper”. This kind of art is done by a person with the skills to identify shapes in an object and draw them in paper as is. Yeah, art isn’t just about drawing. But a drawing can never be called art (ask me) unless someone with a gift did it.

While it is true that illustration softwares can make one an artist, more and more “raw artists” have also started using such softwares to enhance their artworks or to make these available for digital use.

And so I gave up. These softwares were created per advice from “raw artists” anyway.

Filipino TV primetime

2008-02-04T20:55:00.000-08:00

The Filipino TV has become very disappointing nowadays, or since about a decade ago. Primetime, particularly, is now smudged with mockery - a rundown of boring, no-brainer, dull teleseryes. Isn’t that a great disappointment to those of us who grew up in the 80’s and early 90’s and watched primetime with weekly programs - one-hour shows with substance?

I do not only miss those days. I am truly devastated with what happened to local TV today. TV stations are trying so hard to make money they forgot about their responsibilities as information medium. Sure, we sit in front of the TV to be entertained. But it sure wouldn’t hurt if we nurture some education while entertaining, would it?

TV is one medium that is powerful enough to reach almost the entire archipelago. Why is it so hard for TV stations to provide shows that matter; shows that not only entertain but also keep the Filipino mind thinking? Sure, there are a few shows that inform. But teleseryes ??? Afternoon Dramas? Sure we need some time to emote, to maintain sanity; perhaps, to still feel human. But, what’s happening now is these dull programs are ruining the thinking of most Filipinos! They are making their audience learn nothing!

Back in the 80’s and early 90’s, the TV people were more concerned on fine-tuning plots of one-hour, weekly programs so to earn good ratings. Nowadays, plots of daily TV programs, particularly teleseryes and afternoon drama series, are filled with junk to stretch them and make five 30-minute episodes equal to a one-hour show. Storylines have become ridiculous, and the Filipino is buying it!

I remember one TV station reporting in primetime news talking about a hip, 40-something lady who wears hip hop clothes and accessories. I like the idea of empowering women, but when the reporter said “She is the Missy Elliot of the Philippines”, I was furious. The media is actually misinforming its audience! The lady may be good at other aspects of life, but it wasn’t included in the report that she does what Missy Elliot does. And so, the audience, who has not heard of Missy Elliot or her works, could easily assume that Missy Elliot is just some lady who wears baggy jeans and huge silver jewelries.

It is freaking unfair! How can TV be allowed to give out information that isn’t helping the society! For a third-world country like ours, we don’t need crappy information. We need education to truly understand our country and help ourselves. If we continue to be dumb-and-dumbers, how can our country make it through these hard times?

I truly believe that TV or media in general, has a huge responsibility to the country. I truly believe that TV stations should provide programs that not only entertain its audience but also help sharpen the viewer’s thinking skills. Most of our TV commercials are made dumb. To our great, talented, creative copy writers – are you doing these dumb TV commercials to stoop down to the level of the dumbest TV viewer? Don’t you also plan to educate and help your viewer think harder (read: write witty plots)? It is better to make the dumb laugh? Or amaze the smart? I presume that deep in your very creative hearts, you wanted to do the latter. But, that’s just another related issue.

And to those who work in producing TELESERYES, please make a difference. The time is now.

Too sad to even think of a title..

2008-01-30T19:50:00.000-08:00

I just wanted to make music, or draw the pictures the entire day. But it hasn’t been really easy for a girl born to an financially unprivileged family. I know I’m not alone, but for those who have been successful in expressing themselves through art and music, despite lack of financial support, how hard was it for them to get what they want?

I used to write songs out of anger, or longing. I used to draw pictures because my head will burst if I don’t. But has it been enough? As what a famous quote says, a gift isn’t called so unless it materializes.

I was only able to do these things back when I was younger, and less responsible. Now that I’ve got my hands full of adult responsibilities, does that mean the burning passion to make music and art is heading coldville?

No!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Outsourcing

2008-01-13T18:08:00.001-08:00

Come on. Let’s face it. Outsourcing is a good thing. If Americans (those who have been laid off from a job that will eventually be outsourced to the Philippines) think that Filipinos are the only ones benefiting from such a trade method, they are wrong.

When these types of jobs (mostly simple, entry-level) are sent to our country, US will then be left with the better jobs. I often hear my husband whine about always getting the dirty job. He is a software developer working for a US company and his team is always given the task to start their codes from scratch. Their US counterparts will then continue the job, which is sort of a second-level programming and technically, is cleaner and easier.

Nevertheless, it’s still a good deal. My husband will no longer need to enslave himself in another country, and still earn a descent income. Filipinos are poor but hard working people. As for Americans, it’s just a matter of like, survival of the fittest.

There’s no questioning the Filipino’s capability and talent. Even the famous band Journey hired a very good Filipino vocalist to sing for them in place of Steve Perry. Richard Carpenter, the remaining living member of the Carpenters, signed a 70’s Filipina local pop singer to sing a song he wrote for his sister, Karen, who died before she could have recorded it.

When a man loves a woman

2008-01-11T02:03:00.000-08:00

No more trying to be profound. I just want to say it. When a man loves a woman, he has to know when to stop himself when he starts to destroy her, intentionally of obliviously. They may not notice it but they are slowly destroying women when they start getting comfortable. We can’t deny it. It has mostly been the pattern. Even the women with the strongest personalities fall into this trap. They get smitten, and then, forget their real selves to eventually evolve into someone whom their husbands want. I hate it!

So I said to myself today, I will never let that man stop me from playing my guitar, or from recapturing that beautiful moment in a painting or from reading a book I thought was really important for my sanity.

I won’t be destroyed.

2010 Philippine elections

2008-01-01T20:22:00.000-08:00

I was wondering how to contain myself after I read a phrase from a local news article, wherein a junior senator commented “It’s too far away to talk about 2010.” That was his answer after being asked if he had any plans to run for presidency in the country’s next presidential election. WTF! It’s already 2008! And still a senator has no plans for the next two years? Even me and my husband – earning a combined annual income of barely $26,000 and paying tax at that - has plans for the next five years! How could a supposedly responsible senator, whom we voted to supposedly think about the nation’s future, be saying it’s too freaking early to talk about something happening in the next two years??

Okay, so I’m just overacting. We know for sure he already had his plans set but he’s not divulging it to anybody, especially to potential opponents. But, really, until when do we Filipinos just accept what we are being served with? I mean, until when do get to know the people who are eyeing on “serving the country” before they start to “serve the country”? A month before the election, or I guess we don’t care at all…

Back in 2004, I have received through email a list of biographies of electoral candidates. That was very lucky of me because I had Internet access and an email account to further get to know the candidates. But what about the remaining 94 percent of Filipinos who do not have Internet access and/or email accounts? How else would they be informed enough to be able to decide on whom among these men and women is fit to serve the former?

Information today is gathered through TV, radio, newspaper, magazine, Internet, and word by mouth. I was glad about what the people from the TV industry, a medium which two-thirds of the Philippine population get their information from, did on last year’s senatorial elections. They were able to invite senatoriables to more or less prove themselves on national television. The problem with that program though, is that it is shown during the very late waking hours of the night, when most of the working population – paying religiously their tax dues – are already trying to get some sleep to prepare for the next day.

The radio is also a great tool to distribute information to the mass. Radio is heard by people at home and even at work. I like it when I get to ride on a bus or a jeep, which tunes in to this morning program with two radical DJs who talk about daily life. They’re very refreshing, makes me want to listen to their talk, which is a cross between matter-of-fact and silly, throughout the ride. They don’t usually talk about politics, but they drive people to reality. That’s one step!

People in our country are mostly inclined to the twilight zone, where they dream of winning the lotto, reside for free in streets and railways, avoid tax, sell and profit from untaxed goods, receive allotments from our relatives slaving themselves abroad without doing anything, listen to or watch teleseryes that remind them of how miserable life is. Shows like this make us wake up into reality where we have to pay bills and tax dues, and get to know our leaders.

The newspaper, which according to the same report, is read by about 47 percent of the Philippine population, is on the third spot. Very useful this tool, however not everyone has the luxury (of time and paying the subscription fees) to read it.

The Internet and magazines are also gaining followers, when it comes to choice of information medium. People aged between 20 and 40 comprise mostly its readership. Word of mouth, the oldest among all medium, is still strong, especially in the very, very remote areas. But we can still take advantage of this old system, if we had very reliable TV, radio, and newspaper sources.

Okay, so I’m just another brat who keeps ranting about things I don’t like. But I’m also just one of the very few citizens who care, I guess. And if I deserved a wish, it would be that TV stations come up with a program that details the capabilities and exposes the intentions of the presidentiables. I wish that should be done starting early 2008 and be aired when most (tax-paying, and thus, conscientious) people will be able to watch it. It should also be aired on huge billboards during rush hour to further inform commuters, public utility vehicle drivers, sidewalk vendors, people in the petty crime business – who may add up to the 40 percent (comprising small-scale companies and individual taxpayers) of the entire tax-paying community. Come on, let’s face it. We really don’t know much. Here’s a nice link, if you fancy stats.

There will probably be more of those wishes as we approach the elections. But for now, that’s all I would want. Whew, at least I was able to contain myself.

Being ate to an office mate

2007-11-15T23:31:00.000-08:00

Here's an excerpt from my email to her:
Pag naging hindi kayo, here’s a list that you might want t consider or might have considered but shrugged off the idea:

1. Magbakasyon, alone. Think of yourself, just yourself. Think, not the kind that you’ll be kawawa without him, but what you CAN BE without him.

I have spoken to a lot of people who have limited themselves in the presence/cage of the other person, na hindi na tuloy lumabas yung mga magagandang mga pwedeng mangyari sa buhay nila. Now, they have cried to me, and were sorry that they didn’t listen to me.

I know you know these things already, pero you didn’t think these are also important: You can never be successful in a relationship (two-person) if you yourself have not succeeded in understanding what you really want.

2. Do other things, independent of you-and-him activities. Mag belly-dancing, mag yoga, mag pilates, mag choir sa simbahan (nyak!), mag aral – MAGING ABALA. This not only helps you forget about the anticipation, but also discover other things that may be your long lost passion.

3. Meet a lot of people. Stay away from people that remind you of him. It’s not that you’re moving on without him already, you’re just making sure that IKAW PA RIN YAN. HINDI KA SI (her name) with (name ng guy); IKAW SI (her name) NA lumaki sa (hometown), mahilig sa (whatever hilig mo), etc.

Honestly, girl, I’ve never been that hurt. Although, one ex-bf broke up with me through text, but does that qualify me to tell these stuff?

Well, maybe because this is my formula to BE HAPPY. TO be not hurt. To be independent. To be ME.

Manila traffic

2007-11-12T20:49:00.000-08:00

One of the most interesting topics my husband and I have while taking the bus to and from work is our own funny ways to solve the country’s problems. We would discuss and laugh about the depressing traffic, corrupt officials, the misleading media, the surging unemployment rate, waste management and the like. Now, don’t get pissed. We care about our country in our own little ways, like religiously paying our monthly tax dues.

Today, we were trapped in another Monday traffic because we left home a little late than we usually do. Monday is the worst traffic day of the week; it’s not this crowded during the rest of the week. I’d always wonder why all these people packing the roads suddenly show up during Monday mornings! Okay, let’s count in the city university students who spend weekends at their hometowns (in the province). Let’s also add in the countless jobseekers (of both local and overseas employment), who thought Monday was perfect for job hunting time. Who else? I think those I mentioned above are not only the reasons for the population surge in the highway.

So, in the midst of sweaty, almost angry crowd inside the hot bus, my husband and (mostly) I aired out our frustrations. We witnessed the complete idleness of the left lanes (Southward), wishing those guys wearing gray uniforms would think harder. We sighed (intentionally loud) in frustration to the bus driver who still loads up his car despite hearing his engine’s cry of disapproval. We shrugged off our sweating polo shirts and faces, thinking that being reactive to this situation will just worsen our moods. Our hurting legs (because we stood for like miles) wanted to ask us, “Where the hell did your tax payments go?”

Cavite is becoming the most crowded place in NCR because new subdivisions targeting the working-class market are sprouting all over the area, specifically the towns nearest Manila. Laguna subdivisions seemed exclusive to the high-earning market, while Bulacan isn’t much participating in this again rising real estate industry.

These people who paid their tax dues regularly deserve more than just a narrow space in between the bus seats.

2007-11-09T20:34:00.000-08:00

Hmmm let me see… I was trying to list down the passions I have discovered by following others. Hmmm … Hmmmm … Hmmmm … That’s it, I give up! I didn’t have such!

Passion no. 1: Drawing/Sketching. My dad used to sketch a lot. He had shown me his sketches of landscapes, animals, children and nude women when I was little. He was a good sculptor and singer, too. I truly celebrated him as an artist. But my drawing came out from but my own heart and soul (mind). Deep in my mind, I wanted to create a visual that tells something important, expresses a message needed to known. This quest, which is to convey whatever it is that wanted to burst out from my head to let others be aware of its existence, led me to sketch my way to this passion, alone.

Passion no. 2: Music, specifically singing. As I said earlier, my dad is a good singer. His voice is something that will easily catch someone’s attention. [He wasn’t able to record, but I believe that having played with several good bands during his active years was already a testament of his craft. He wrote songs, too. But just like my writing (un)capability, dad’s choice of words isn’t just the way to go when it comes to expressing great ideas.] I loved to sing, especially when I feel the rhythm and melody meshing through, down my chest they already hurt. I loved to sing because through it I could express what I feel, I could say what I wanted to say.

Passion no. 3: Music, specifically bass guitar. I hated Dad when he sold that electric bass I was eyeing on since kindergarten. The guitar just disappeared from where I used to drag it from during afterschool afternoons. He later told me that I had to choose between the microphone and the bass. He said it was rather difficult to sing while doing the bass; they often times don’t go together. So I had to make a choice. Before I blurt out b…, he would hand me lyrics sheets of songs that I would SING. [Maybe he believed in me, singing, rather than poking a heavy electronic instrument at 9. Very few fathers would sell their only daughters’ souls to rock ‘n roll.] So it turned I was only left to deeply appreciate bass lines, not make some of my own. I loved to rock ‘n roll, but when it comes to bass tunes, I want it done the reggae way. Bass lines in reggae provide the mood. They’re not only rhythmic, but also melodic. Reggae bass goes deep down your spine, unlike rock bass, which mostly fades away behind the squeaky lead guitar riffs. But I’m just 27, it’s not yet over.

Passion no. 4: Handicrafts, specifically sewing. I love to fix things because I love the feeling of accomplishment it brings. A friend once told me, "Shan, you're such a handyman!", when i told her about me and my husband painting our closets and some walls in the house. I particularly enjoyed fixing small things. They’re cute, and finish fast; hence, accomplishment in a flash. Specifically, I enjoyed making hand-sewn Barbie doll clothes. I would also make Barbie doll mini cars out of scrap wood. When I was 7, my greatest quest was to produce a running wooden automobile my size. Oh, how I hated rich kids with their mini-cars with bicycle pedals then, and how I marveled at the way the kids at Kolambugan race using their wooden scooters during summertime. They would race down through the hill sides, as these machines only have 1-2 small wheels, no motors or pedals. But, that was some invention, man!

Passion no. 5: Writing. It’s actually a part of my (umbrella) passion to communicate my ideas. Although I wasn’t the bookworm type, or the Journalism major, or the high school paper feature writer, I enjoyed toying with words. Words are also one great way to convey what your mind wants to tell the world. [And it’s one great way to type away your hours at the office when no sketchbook and pencil/paintbrush, bass guitar or a tin can full of scrap cloth, threads and needles are around; but just a PC in front of you.]